Community Found at the YMCA
Including a Ghost?
My dear friend Chloe and I spend every Tuesday together, our sacred friendship routine and our way of choosing joy as resistance in dark times. I recently read a Substack essay in reflection of a yoga class - an instructor had said “hold this pose like it’s the only thing you’ll ever have to do in this lifetime.” The writer reflected on these words giving her the power to be present in her practice, permission to quiet the noise, to lighten the weight of the world even if for a moment. On Tuesdays, the only thing in the world I have to do after work is be present with my best friend, and what a privilege that is. Our usual activities vary between cooking together, going out to eat, going to yoga, crafting or writing together, and lately, becoming the strongest versions of ourselves by strength training.
The lights often flicker in the corner of the locker room at our local YMCA gym. We’ve come to lovingly call this flickering our ghost, chiming in to our conversations like a friend. It flickers when we ask good questions and it flickers when we’re on the brink of answers, as if adding perspective, as if showing us we are on the right path. We make a new statement, have a new idea, and there, on and off like clockwork, the lights change, and so do we. Is there such a thing as coincidence?
During most of our visits to the Y, we have made connections with more than just ghosts. We have been our usual silly, curious, friendly selves, and have struck up conversations with people who, unknowingly, have changed my life.
First, we met a sweet mother of a young child, who told us she uses the gym as time for herself. She reflected on the gym as sacred time to avoid losing sight of who she is in motherhood. After a lifetime of losing myself over and over, and a year of fierce reclamation, it’s a comfort to know more women are choosing themselves in this world. We are stronger in our conviction to do so when we have clear examples all around us that it’s possible!
On our next visit to the gym, we met a sweet woman who told us about her struggle to care for her son through a serious battle with Lyme disease that left him unable to eat. She described how she researched endlessly to find the nutrition and doctors right for him. She reflected on how he recovered after years of suffering, and is now in college, living a happy and healthy life. This is the tender care of a loving and proud mother - a powerful force to behold. This woman brought up a love of yoga as a way she grounded herself through this stressful time in her life, which Chloe and I quickly commented on. We discussed our mutual love of joyful and intentional movement, and suddenly our conversation opened up. Chloe and I discussed our desires to get yoga teacher certifications, and the woman asked with curiosity “what’s your goal in being a yoga instructor? Oh! You two could do it together!” - and that question and comment lit up our imaginations. We recently went on a yoga retreat together, and with the audacity to dream of a beautiful life for ourselves, this kind stranger revealed a new goal: to run a yoga retreat together one day. My mind has been swirling with ideas ever since, the future nothing but roads branching and forking in any and all directions. The options are limitless and like in many yoga poses, our palms were open to receive.
During another gym session I was talking about my patient care with Chloe. A woman approached us after overhearing us to ask what we did for work, and I told her I was a pelvic floor physical therapist. She lit up, told us she just began pelvic PT herself, and was even an old friend of one of the matriarchs of pelvic floor physical therapy care in the US. She told us about her role as a teacher and medical interpreter, wanting to help women in this world escape abusive situations and improve women’s healthcare in the world. We all beamed and bonded over our shared desire to make this world a better place for women. The lights flashed in the corner as we spoke, as if the YMCA ghost knew this conversation was holy and to be celebrated. It felt like a sign - be present here, do not rush - these are the moments that make up a beautiful and connected life. I saw this woman again last week, and had another beautifully unhurried conversation that left me further inspired. Community really is everything.
With or without our flickering friend, these moments are precious. Magic is clearly real, I know it is, because I see it every day. I see it in the creativity of my best friends, constantly dreaming a beautiful life into existence. I hear it in our shared laughter. I see it in the perseverance of the women I connect with at the Y. I feel it within my community. These are the moments that energize my spirit against despair. Chloe and I go to the gym to be together and to lift weights, but we always leave with far more.
How are you finding moments of levity amongst the great weight of the world lately? How are you connecting to your community, in a time that feels more tumultuous than ever? Where does magic clearly exist for you?
All my love,
-Katie
Music Recs:
Hell of a Ride by Fizz
Take by The Beths
Dear Worry by Common People
Time is a Bomb by Metric
Walls by The Army, The Navy
Do it Over by Boys go to Jupiter
Even by Suburnia
Run it Back by Suburnia
Book Recs:
I’m currently re-reading a favorite of mine, Wellness by Nathan Hill - I highly recommend the audio book, it’s the best narration I’ve ever heard!