Girl With Camera
Making Memory Tangible
My relationship to photography has changed so greatly over the years. I used to take photos out of vanity, loneliness and the desire for attention. I would take a plethora of selfies, or ask my friends to take 100+ shots, diving through them all immediately to find the ”perfect” one. I look back on these images, overly processed, stiff and calculated, and don’t see a memory. There was no meaning to be found, no story to be told except one of insecurity. In the act of taking 100+ photos, I wasn’t present with the friends I was meant to be spending time with, or present with myself.
Over time, I grew picky over what moments were worthy of capture. Now more than anything I take photos because I cherish this life I’m living. I’m surrounded by the most wonderful people I could imagine, in the city I love, and I want to remember every morsel and crumb. I take photos in moments of overwhelming joy.
I got a $50 CampSnap camera at the recommendation of a friend - I was easily sold by the idea of a disposable style image quality in a reusable, more eco friendly, body. Now this camera is nearly always by my side, just in case. When you take a meaningful photo, maybe there’s a flash, maybe a satisfying closure of a shutter, but there is always a feeling. A moment worthy of remembrance is a holy thing, an awe inspiring thing. The sound of the CampSnap capture is now permanently connected to cherished summer nights with my chosen family, and the summer I became known as the girl with the camera.
Unlike taking photos on a phone, this camera makes you wait in suspense to see the final product - no auto upload, no Bluetooth connection. We’re going low tech. There is beauty in delayed gratification of developing your photos after the moment has passed. This prevents being taken out of the present moment by needing to get the “perfect” (and often disingenuous) picture. I’d much rather be precious about presence rather than presentation. I’m capturing memory, and the glowing blur effect of the CampSnap is how memory feels - imperfect, faded at the edges and yet bright with whimsy.
With each photograph I take, I imagine giving the subject a gentle forehead kiss with the message “you are so special to me, I want to have this moment with you forever. I see you in all of your humanity, every imperfection and every quirk, and I want it all. We are so lucky to walk this earth at the same time.” To take someone’s picture is to say they are worthy of eternal preservation. With this small tool, I get to be a moment catcher and a memory keeper for the people I hold dearest in this world. I get to bear witness to the laughter, the love, the joy and to divine connection, over and over again.
The mind's eye may dull with time, but pictures can last - can show us a glimpse of the past that we may otherwise forget. How lucky I am to have this lens, seeing into my present, knowing it will help transport me to my most cherished memories of the past. If we choose what we capture with this intentionality, we can look back on a full, wondrous life in progress. What could be more comforting?
What is worthy of a photograph to you?
All my love,
-Katie
Recs!
It’s been a while since I’ve had the mental clarity, and the time, to write. That means I have a lot of recommendations!
Music Recs:
Words by Big Thief
The Scythe by The Last Dinner Party
Figure it out by Rainbow Frog Biscuits
Lose My Mind by The Wild Reeds
Warm Honey by Willow
Sue Me by Audrey Hobert
End of Summer by Tame Impala
House to Myself by Mike Fiki
All This love by Cat Burns
Parachute by Hayley Williams
SAD SOB STORY! By Lola Young
I Think I Like You Better When You’re Gone by Reneé Rapp
Backseat by Balu Brigada
What Is The Reason For It by David Byrne with Hayley Williams
September by Dog Park
Double Take by Edgehill
For mellow moments, I’ve been loving the instrumental album Music for Nine Postcards by Hiroshi Yoshimura
Book Recs:
There Are Rivers in the Sky by Elif Shafak - this is my second book of hers (I also read The Island of Missing Trees) and both have been 5 star reads that permanently altered my brain chemistry. Her writing blends multiple POVs in the most poetic ways. Cannot recommend her work enough!
Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir - This book made me laugh more than any book I can remember!
Just Kids by Patti Smith - a gorgeous story of romantic and platonic love, and everything in between.
The Seven Year Slip - yes, it’s worth the hype!
Hello Stranger by Katherine Center
The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
Other Recs:
https://www.aclu.org/action - Every week, if not every day, I implore you to check the ACLU action page for ways you can protest the actions of the current administration. It takes under 2 minutes to sign a petition, it could take as little as an afternoon to volunteer in your community. We all have a role to play in protecting one another from the evils at hand. Do what you can, and do it often.
CampSnap cameras, of course (not sponsored)