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Malleable Memories
Recently, my girlfriends and I went on my dream date: a sunny day at The Institute of Contemporary Art with the included water taxi trip to see their current Watershed exhibit by Chiharu Shiota: Home Less Home. This exhibit was an open call to Boston community members to reflect on the meaning of home, and “considers the journey towards one home and away from another.” Suspended by thousands of red strings, as if suspended in time, reflections, passports and pictures hung in the air.
Standing at the entrance of the exhibit is like watching a mass bird migration beginning in front of you, and then getting to step inside and realizing you are one with the flock. Walking through these stories, stories of heartbreak, stories of triumph, stories of rebirth - I asked myself, what DID home feel like, and what does it feel like now?
Memory is malleable when we think about the past. Anything with the proper context can be beautiful, just as anything with the proper context can turn sour. The memory of home may shift, warp and change shape over time - so what are the components that consistently contributed to a feeling of home? Is it the land? Is it the space within the walls I inhabit? Is it the feeling? Is it the community? Is it the love?
Since mid 2022, I’ve moved 6 times. In a miraculous turn of events, each of these locations felt like home to me, even if the stays were brief. The only overlapping feature of all of these places is myself and community. Every step of the way, I put down roots. I showed proof I was participating in my own life. I always found the nearby yoga studios that taught my mind peace. I always found the cafes to journal and have the best coffee, befriending baristas along the way. I have always engaged in local events, meeting new people and exploring every corner of my new neighborhoods. I created and put art up on every wall even if my stay was for only 10 weeks. I hosted my loved ones in most of these spaces and shared precious meals. I built myself comfort through connection. Home is wherever I am, where I am lucky to connect with welcoming community because I’m intentional about finding it. Home is where I’m inspired to create, where I can spend time with my loved ones, where I can laugh my heart out, where I can process difficult emotions as well as experience great joys.
So a month ahead of leaving my favorite space that I have been lucky enough to call mine, I am mourning the loss, but I know I will create such a home again. Each day, as the afternoon sun comes through my living room windows, setting the disco balls alight, I breathe in deep. I take it all in while I can. I want the moment suspended in time the way I felt in the ICA exhibit. This IS my home. It has been my home because I made it one. I broke bread with all of my loved ones within these walls. I found the most beautiful community in this neighborhood. I created some of my best art, read some of my favorite books, and felt overall inspired here more than ever before. It’s hard to part with, but I know home has nothing to do with the walls itself, and everything to do with the love I brought into it. I am committed to making a home wherever my feet are, wherever my people are, wherever there is a space for love to grow. Everything that made this place special, I’m taking with me - not a crumb of joy will be left behind. I will never walk by this building with sadness, only with fond memories that for a short while I had a home here, a home that’s shape is changing, but whose feeling will be forever with me.
If you need me, I’ll be busy flying away, off to the next one, with my flock.
All My love,
Katie
Recs:
We cannot discuss the meaning of home without discussing the Genocide in Gaza. Innocent people are being displaced, starved and killed, day after cruel day. Keep looking for ways to support Palestine - you can learn more about UNICEF’s efforts here
I couldn’t recommend visiting the Watershed exhibit enough - learn more here: https://www.icaboston.org/exhibitions/chiharu-shiota/ - I recommend booking your ticket in advanced, they do occasionally sell out on the weekends.
Music Recs:
Overall obsessed with Cat Burns and Gigi Perez right now
Missing Kid by Ellur
F*ck I*E by Chrissa Sparkles
Boston by Min Taka
Nice to Eachother by Olivia Dean
The Original Death Card by George Houston
Seasons by Verb
Effortlessly, I feel Everything by The Man The Myth The Meatslab
I just Wanna by Kali
Follow Excitement! By Rizzle Kicks and Rachel Chinouriri
Book Recs:
Upstream by Mary Oliver - This is holy scripture
The Frozen River by Ariel Lawton - I read this for a book club, not my typical genre but I enjoyed it a great deal!
Sunrise on the Reaping by Suzanne Collin’s - so entertaining as usual, loved the anti-AI themes! Can’t wait for the movie
The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath - this is quite dark, TW for SI, but wow is it worth the read if you are in the right head space.