Reading!

Losing, finding and escaping

Greyson (my parent’s cat) and I, reading Giovanni’s Room by James Baldwin, October 2024

When I was little, you couldn’t pry a book out of my hands for anything. I would hide under my covers with a flashlight to read even just one more chapter before bed. I loved losing myself into stories and spending my time in other worlds. I felt a creative charge after reading that would inspire my own writing and painting - and I had so much fun with it. I felt my mind blooming with energy following every chapter I consumed. Eventually my late teens and early twenties turned into a rigorous academic path that buried me under mandatory peer reviewed articles. I forgot that reading could be for fun, too. I suddenly went from reading a fantasy book in a day to going years without reading a single book for pleasure. A hobby I had once loved that inspired my creativity was lost to me. I felt lost to me, too. 

Undergrad and graduate school stripped me of my sense of self in many ways. I was always on the go, but somehow never present. I lived by a to-do list between school, work and social obligations, and if there was no chance of a dopamine hit by checking off my little square boxes, then there was simply no time for it. Reading for joy and creating art rarely, if ever, made the cut. 

I returned to reading with fervor when I was given a copy of Untamed by Glennon Doyle for my 22nd birthday during one of the highest waves of the Covid-19 Pandemic. My social calendar and to-do lists were narrowed due to social distancing guidelines and a grad school schedule. While this era of my life had a great deal of challenges, it did leave more time for me to connect with myself, and Untamed was the first step towards my journey inward. It was the right book for me, at the exact right time, and oh how lucky I was to be reminded of how much I once cherished reading. 

This book opened my eyes to how I was going through the motions in my life, rather than connecting with it. I felt empowered to let go of my to-do list, and found myself excited to get to choose what to do in my free time, rather than pre-selecting from my mandatory activities. Reading more has made me believe in absolutes less, and I now know that reading can have many purposes beyond academia - it helped me connect with my younger self, someone who found inspiration in every line of prose. When I started reading again, I regained my love for creating art, too. For the first time in years, I felt like I had allowed myself to breathe deeply into my own lungs - I felt like me. 

Since then, I have consumed over 200 more books thanks to a good old library card and the app Libby. I still go through ebbs and flows where I read more than at other times, but for the last 4 years I have kept up my reading habits more consistently than ever before. How grateful I am, because I don’t think I’ve ever needed it more than now.

Reading is even better when you can do it by a fire. Living Resistance by Kaitlin B. Curtice - October 2024

The past week and a half has been a dark time to live in the States. Seeing mountains of executive orders purposefully meant to exploit our emotions and take away the rights of already marginalized groups is rage inducing. I open my phone to read the latest news updates and I see red. I’ve had to delete my social media for the week, because there is a fine line between staying well informed and staying too informed to the point of despair. 

Lately, I’m trying to find a balance of staying up to date, and putting equal if not more energy into my community connections and myself to counteract the pain produced by the daily news. Part of this balance is reading to learn about the world so I may participate in community resistance, and part is allowing myself to escape into stories for self preservation. 

We can find ourselves in stories and find relief from our suffering knowing that we are not alone, or potentially finding a solution to what ails us. We can find others in stories and open our eyes to alternative perspectives, if only we seek to understand. AND we can lose ourselves in stories as escapism. This is an equally valid way to read, especially in the times we find ourselves in. There is a great deal of negative connotation with escapism, however, if something allows you to function within your daily life and has no side effects, then how could it be negative? 

Do you want to escape to a world of dragons and fae where the romance is palpable? Do you want to journey into a sci-fi where the landscape is unlike anything we see on Earth? Do you want the story to be unlike everything you experience on the day to day, so you can stop thinking about it for a mere millisecond? How could there be anything wrong with that? We all deserve respite, and respite can be found on the page. So read on, enjoy the stories, whether you find or lose yourself within them. 

All my love, 

-Katie 

Nuance Note: Escapism can be a hefty privilege. Part of community resistance is sharing our strategies for supporting one another and staying sane amongst this political climate. I would love to know your current reads or other side effect free forms of escapism in the comments, as well as how you are engaging with your community for those who do not have the luxury of escapism! 

Recent Book Recs: 

• Reading the third book in the Empyrean series, Onyx Storm, and it is delicious. The story is incredibly entertaining and in many ways unlike the world we live in, and in many ways, it is. I lose myself in it and find myself in it, both often occurring within the same page. And it's wholly fun. 

• Sunburn - wow this is one of the best books I’ve ever read - the writing style was unsettling in a way that was utterly enamouring. Can not recommend it enough!! 

Music Recs: 

• The new Flipturn Album: Burnout Days 

• People, I’ve been sad by Cristine and the Queens 

• Macho Man by King Isis 

• Chutes & Ladders by Odie Leigh, and Odie Leigh in general ! 

• Ankles by Lucy Dacus 

• Belly Side Up by Bent Knee

• Big Brown Eyes Lola Young

Other Recs: 

• Keep up to date with ACLU here for petitions you can sign, volunteer opportunities and important information that could help keep you and your community safe amid this political climate 

  • Create a script if you are concerned about ICE agents coming to your door or your place of work, learn more here

  • Volunteer with ACLU here

• Libby is a free app where you can connect your library card and get books on your phone - wether a virtual copy or an audiobook. I can't recommend this enough, this takes the financial strain out of reading!