I grew up an hour outside of Boston. Like any melancholy and angst filled teen, I was exasperated by a lack of independence and wanted to leave my small town to explore, preferably without adult supervision. I grasped at every opportunity to be an individual, to have a sense of control over my own life beyond being a student, a daughter and a sister. As a teenager, those opportunities felt few and far between; I felt defeated by my mandated passivity simply due to the slow passing of time, and my too few years on this earth - I felt ready for more.
After my sophomore year came to a close, a dear friend of mine was accepted into a Summer art program at Mass Art - that meant they were a short drive and two short trains away. I begged my parents to let me go into the city with a friend who could drive us to the train station, and after a lengthy safety plan on how to navigate the city and newly enacted curfew rules, I was given the green light to take this leap into young adulthood. Taking the Boston Red line from Alewife into the city with my friend - without parents in sight - was the first way I can remember exercising true independence.
My friend and I successfully made it into the city, hopping from redline to green line with a sense of wonderment and giddiness that adolescent exploration brings. We arrived safely at my friend’s dorm, and had a perfect summer day in the city together. We walked, talked, snacked and ventured into every open storefront we could find, regardless of our lack of funds at the time. We wanted to take it all in - to take advantage of every second. I remember viscerally wishing I were a local rather than a visitor, and was determined to live in a city one day from then on. We thought we had made it through the day without a hitch before we accidentally took the inbound train when attempting to return home, requiring further vigilance and speed to remedy our error and make it home for curfew. We made it back just in time, trusted by our parents for another day - the perfect amount of near rule-breaking excitement to further fuel my desire for autonomy.
While I unfortunately did not take advantage of my proximity to the city as much as I had hoped while in high school, I still felt the same level of joy and longing each and every time I was graced with the opportunity to reunite with Boston public transit. Regardless of the screeching of rusty wheels, the crowded cars and the yellow tinged fluorescents, I knew I was headed in the direction of adventure, of newness, of forever memories. The red line is where my true personhood began - where I learned to enjoy the life I had chosen for myself, rather than one of circumstance.
I ended up going to college and graduate school further from the city, and with significantly less free time to make the journey. While I did choose physical therapy education as my direction, where to go to school was a matter of financial concern and convenience, and 8 years of rigorous schoolwork led me to again feel out of control of my own life. When I was nearing the end of residency, my partner and I had, for the first time, the decision of where to begin our lives together outside of the education system, and everything led us back to Boston. The redline was welcoming me home, like it always knew I was meant to reside here.
It’s been 9 months since we moved to the city, and now I frequent public transit, but as a local rather than a visitor, exactly like my 15 year old self had dreamed. I take the Bus to work each day, and take the T to go to see my lovely friends, to museums, to restaurants and to events throughout the city with ease. Public transit now takes me to and from the necessities of life as well as the adventures in equal measure. The Boston T has been my most beautiful, full circle example of the first choices that have truly been mine. I can’t wait to see where it takes me next.
All my love,
-Katie
Music Recs:
In The Middle - Mt. Joy - this may be my favorite song of the year so far
Made a Friend - Miki Fiki
Heavy - Florence Road
Stealing!!! - Cosmorat
As Two People Drift Apart - Petey USA
Voices - Damiano David
Figure It Out - Florence Road
Make Out - Julia Nunes
Stay Still - Sub Urban
GTFO - Max Rickun
Your Orbit - Mothe
Book Recs:
Rebel Witch - the second book in the Crimson Moth series by Kristen Ciccarelli - loved it!
Green Dot by Madeleine Gray - this had me genuinely laughing out loud and cringing intensely, sometimes at the exact same time!
In The Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado - a memoir about domestic violence within a queer relationship - it’s heartbreaking and healing and so incredibly well written, I cannot recommend this book enough,
Other Recs:
F*ck I*e
Free Palestine