I haven’t had a great deal of free time lately between working full time and studying for a hefty board certification exam in women’s health physical therapy. Because of this, the m
oments where I’m not doing these two energy consuming activities matter much, much more. As someone who has never had a healthy relationship with social media, coupled with the harrowing state of the world, I knew I could further drain the energy from my bones by doom scrolling for hours each night with ease. Determined to choose another path, I deleted my Instagram, my particular vice. This week marks one month without my greatest and most senseless distraction.
I thought this would be extremely liberating, and immediately give me a new lease on life. I thought I would rejoice in my newfound free time, free of the shackles of society! Alas, I was surprised to see I had instead held a mirror up to my own vanity. I was, and still am, mortified by how strong my urge has been to redownload the application. To know what everyone is up to, to tap back into the social pulse of the world, to see if my online presence has somehow been missed. This was a more humbling experience than I had expected, and I had to act fast in my discomfort to avoid being pressured back into the waiting arms of Meta.
I knew I wanted to replace time that was otherwise lost to despair and comparison with activities that energized me, and with intentionality, this experiment took a turn for the better. Instead of scrolling for the latest and most horrifying headlines, I set a timer for 10 minutes a day to update myself on current events from validated news sources, just long enough to stay informed and just short enough to keep myself from stepping off the edge towards hopeless misery. I texted, called or saw my friends in person to make new memories together, instead of sending them silly videos without truly communicating. I worked out, and I was present in my body rather than being distracted by hundreds of images of what my body should look like. I read and wrote more rather than giving myself a dent in my pinky finger from holding up the weight of my phone for hours at a time.
It took effort to build healthier habits, but this time swap has been a gift. With the exception of a particularly lousy week of brain fog following a migraine, I was able to study with greater focus, I felt less exhausted at at work, and I have been noticing the synchronicities that make me love this life so deeply with increasing frequency:
Like when my friend Lauren and I read the same book at the same time, without planning ahead
Like the season changing to align the dusty orange sunrise with my morning commute, marking the nearing end to a long winter
Like when you walk to the beat of the perfect song for the mood you're in and feel unstoppable
Like when my partner Shea and I say the exact same thing, at the exact same time and share a moment of truly knowing one another
Like when I’m walking home and notice the gait pattern of two strangers on the sidewalk align, walking perfectly in tandem, even if for a brief moment
Like when I found a vintage postcard from Cambridgeport, where I currently live, at an antique store an hour away to add to my vintage postcard wall collage
Vintage Cambridgeport Postcard Like when someone energetically exclaims “exactly!” when you share understanding over a lived experience
Like when the afternoon sun comes through the window at the perfect angle to hit my mini disco ball and reflect tiny circles of light across the room like glimmers of joy, just in time to welcome me home from work
Like when you hold a loved one tight, and if you listen closely, there is the rare moment when your hearts are beating at the same clip
The moments when we are side by side, aligned by circumstance, by seasons, have allowed me to breathe deeper than any amount of scrolling ever could. How special it is to be in sync, and how grateful I am to notice. These are the moments we miss if we aren’t paying close enough attention to what’s right in front of us.
I’m not saying I will be social media free forever. What I do know is this: I have seen a path that gives me greater clarity of mind. A path that gives me the gift of time and keeps me in the present moment. I would be remiss to ignore this lesson. Now that I have experienced life without it, for the first time in 10 years since I first downloaded this silly pink box onto my phone, how could I go back to the way things were? Why would I want to? Could your social media habits use alterations too?
All my love,
-Katie
Music Recs:
The songs Overrated and Changes by Firemaid
Image by Magdelena Bay
Keep Your Lights On by Hugo Brijs
The songs Fruit Flies and You’re Not Listening by Diving Station
Mega Circuit by Japanese Breakfast
Foul Mouth by Take Lead
Hungry Amoeba by Nick Horn
Failure by Ezra Joseph
Book Recs:
The Ministry of Time by Kaliane Bradley - so fun, it kept me on the edge of my seat!
Other Recs:
Looking for ways to volunteer in your community, but unsure where to start? This website helps you find volunteer opportunities near you: https://www.volunteermatch.org
I just love this one Katie💖